2013 Wilmington Grand Prix: ABD and DNF are very different

Race Report

Dana Stryk

Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long and Foster

Race	Wilmington Grand Prix
Date	May 19, 2013
Field	45
Category	Women Pro/1/2
Race Data	1 mile loop, 7 turns, 2 uphills, patch of cobbles, 25 total miles
Weather	Overcast and temperate

Title for this novella:  “ABD and DNF are very different”

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have fears. Whether it is the impending cicada invasion, furlough worries, or things that go bump in the night, facing that fear generates side effects of nausea, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, avoidance, and so on.  Years ago, when I was preparing for my dissertation defense, that the final obstacle standing between me as Dana, ABD and Dr. Dana, I had to face the fear of failure.  From the moment the date was set, I could not eat, be nice to others or do anything other than spend hours on my bike worried that I would remain ABD – a signal to the rest of the world that you started something that you could not finish. (I defended successfully and insisted that all family members and friends refer to me as Dr. Stryk for a period of time…..)

Since that time, fear has knocked at my door.  I have answered and been able to look it in the face and conquer it, with one exception.  Big girl races.  Until this season, my Cat 3 status kept fear from knocking, since one must be at least a Cat 2 to race with the big guns (or quads, as is more appropriate).  With my upgrade to Cat 2, those NRC and NCC races are now possible for me. *Super*.  In a moment of jet-lagged muddled thinking, I thought CA’s suggestion of racing Wilmington a good one.  My teammate, Kelley, who raced this event last year, told me this would be a blast.  Friday comes around and CA and I pack up our things and head to Wilmington, DE, about 2.5 hours away.

Saturday dawns and we get ready for CA’s race, which is several hours before mine.  I roll around the course with him to look at the course and discover to my eternal joy, a couple of uphills and decent pavement.  CA’s Masters’ Race begins with a bang, not only of the gun but also an attack, and his suffering begins.  As I walk around the course, several locals ask me if women are racing, at what time, and if we wear those tight outfits like the guys.  Confirming yes, 2:15, yes, and I went looking for registration.

As I approached the registration table, one sign existed for the women’s race.  “Women’s Pro”.  For some reason, that sign brought:

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Fear Here.

Wanna come out and play with me?

What was I thinking?  I am not a crit racer.  I like stage races.  I like road races.  I possess an under-developed sprint.  I am lining up against a woman wearing the stars and stripes skin suit, denoting she is the current US Criterium Champion.  I am toeing the line with a women in the current NCC points leader jersey.  If that wasn’t enough stress, then there is Laura Van Gilder.  What am I thinking?  What did I get myself into?  I don’t belong here.

For the next several hours, I battled extreme nerves that I have not felt since convincing 6 Ph.D. economists that “The Welfare Effects of R&D Subsidization and Strategic Trade Policy in a Duopoly Model with Reverse Engineering” was worthy of adding me to the ranks of the academy.  The thought of racing against the women of Fearless Femme and LVG brought about as much fear into my head as the off-subject questions from one outsider reader from the World Bank.  One difference…..I could not walk away from my defense yet I could skip the race.

I tried to analyze my desire to shut the door on the “knock, knock” from fear.  Of what was I scared?  Crashing?  Always a little.  The pain about to ensue?  That’s normal.  Not finishing?  Officials would be pulling aggressively, so that was a strong possibility.  I puzzled and puzzled till my puzzler was sore.  And then I thought of something I had not thought of before. This fear of mine, a feeling most strong, was something irrational and not something wrong. 

Start of the my race

I made it to the line.  Some young boy sang the National Anthem before our race.  At that moment, my nerves calmed.  The race announcers, Joe Jefferson and Richard Frieze, gave the call-ups and the rest of us sprinted to the line.  The whistle blew and we were off.  Looking back, I should have fought more aggressively for position – should have and being willing to are very different things.  The second to last turn was very tight and narrow and then up a hill.  We went through single file and I realized my race was over on the first lap.  The field was so strung out, the accordion effect took its toll on my match book. I need to race smarter or develop a super-sized match book (or both).

I fell off the back with many others even further behind.  Amanda and Sue from ABRT put forth an incredible effort to reattach to the main field.  As we just caught the group, someone on the front attacked and the pack broke up and I was off the back again.  For a couple of laps, Sue, Amanda, two pink kitted women and I tried to catch back on, with Amanda offering me words of encouragement.  One of the pink kitted women and I could not hold on to the 2-person ABRT train and fell off, spending the rest of the race (until we were pulled) alternating pulls – I wish we had gone just a little harder.  We were pulled one lap short of the minimum to be officially scored. 

In theory, I was 35^th.  According to USAC, I was DNF.  According to Strava…..

If you look at the race results, one could say this race was similar to still being ABD 10 years after beginning graduate study.  I prefer to think of the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind him.”  A year ago, I would have bet a Sprinter Van that I would not race an NCC crit.  Now I actually want to do Clarendon Cup…and am expecting to hear a knock from fear on my door again soon - this time I will make eye contact.

Bratwurst und Kartoffelsalat - das perfekt Regenerations-Essen!

Kudos and Shout-outs:

1.       Kelley – Having you at the line and admitting you were a wee bit nervous as well helped punch fear a bit.

2.       Amanda – thanks for your, “Come on, we are still in this…”  You are such a pleasure to race with/against.  Ditto for Sue!

3.       Joe Jefferson and Richard Frieze – you guys are the perfect racing announcing couple

4.       CA – thanks for believing in me when I don’t believe in myself.  One of these races I will actually execute the plan….