2013 Wilmington Grand Prix: ABD and DNF are very different

Race Report

Dana Stryk

Evolution Cycling Club p/b Long and Foster

Race	Wilmington Grand Prix
Date	May 19, 2013
Field	45
Category	Women Pro/1/2
Race Data	1 mile loop, 7 turns, 2 uphills, patch of cobbles, 25 total miles
Weather	Overcast and temperate

Title for this novella:  “ABD and DNF are very different”

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have fears. Whether it is the impending cicada invasion, furlough worries, or things that go bump in the night, facing that fear generates side effects of nausea, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, avoidance, and so on.  Years ago, when I was preparing for my dissertation defense, that the final obstacle standing between me as Dana, ABD and Dr. Dana, I had to face the fear of failure.  From the moment the date was set, I could not eat, be nice to others or do anything other than spend hours on my bike worried that I would remain ABD – a signal to the rest of the world that you started something that you could not finish. (I defended successfully and insisted that all family members and friends refer to me as Dr. Stryk for a period of time…..)

Since that time, fear has knocked at my door.  I have answered and been able to look it in the face and conquer it, with one exception.  Big girl races.  Until this season, my Cat 3 status kept fear from knocking, since one must be at least a Cat 2 to race with the big guns (or quads, as is more appropriate).  With my upgrade to Cat 2, those NRC and NCC races are now possible for me. *Super*.  In a moment of jet-lagged muddled thinking, I thought CA’s suggestion of racing Wilmington a good one.  My teammate, Kelley, who raced this event last year, told me this would be a blast.  Friday comes around and CA and I pack up our things and head to Wilmington, DE, about 2.5 hours away.

Saturday dawns and we get ready for CA’s race, which is several hours before mine.  I roll around the course with him to look at the course and discover to my eternal joy, a couple of uphills and decent pavement.  CA’s Masters’ Race begins with a bang, not only of the gun but also an attack, and his suffering begins.  As I walk around the course, several locals ask me if women are racing, at what time, and if we wear those tight outfits like the guys.  Confirming yes, 2:15, yes, and I went looking for registration.

As I approached the registration table, one sign existed for the women’s race.  “Women’s Pro”.  For some reason, that sign brought:

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Fear Here.

Wanna come out and play with me?

What was I thinking?  I am not a crit racer.  I like stage races.  I like road races.  I possess an under-developed sprint.  I am lining up against a woman wearing the stars and stripes skin suit, denoting she is the current US Criterium Champion.  I am toeing the line with a women in the current NCC points leader jersey.  If that wasn’t enough stress, then there is Laura Van Gilder.  What am I thinking?  What did I get myself into?  I don’t belong here.

For the next several hours, I battled extreme nerves that I have not felt since convincing 6 Ph.D. economists that “The Welfare Effects of R&D Subsidization and Strategic Trade Policy in a Duopoly Model with Reverse Engineering” was worthy of adding me to the ranks of the academy.  The thought of racing against the women of Fearless Femme and LVG brought about as much fear into my head as the off-subject questions from one outsider reader from the World Bank.  One difference…..I could not walk away from my defense yet I could skip the race.

I tried to analyze my desire to shut the door on the “knock, knock” from fear.  Of what was I scared?  Crashing?  Always a little.  The pain about to ensue?  That’s normal.  Not finishing?  Officials would be pulling aggressively, so that was a strong possibility.  I puzzled and puzzled till my puzzler was sore.  And then I thought of something I had not thought of before. This fear of mine, a feeling most strong, was something irrational and not something wrong. 

Start of the my race

I made it to the line.  Some young boy sang the National Anthem before our race.  At that moment, my nerves calmed.  The race announcers, Joe Jefferson and Richard Frieze, gave the call-ups and the rest of us sprinted to the line.  The whistle blew and we were off.  Looking back, I should have fought more aggressively for position – should have and being willing to are very different things.  The second to last turn was very tight and narrow and then up a hill.  We went through single file and I realized my race was over on the first lap.  The field was so strung out, the accordion effect took its toll on my match book. I need to race smarter or develop a super-sized match book (or both).

I fell off the back with many others even further behind.  Amanda and Sue from ABRT put forth an incredible effort to reattach to the main field.  As we just caught the group, someone on the front attacked and the pack broke up and I was off the back again.  For a couple of laps, Sue, Amanda, two pink kitted women and I tried to catch back on, with Amanda offering me words of encouragement.  One of the pink kitted women and I could not hold on to the 2-person ABRT train and fell off, spending the rest of the race (until we were pulled) alternating pulls – I wish we had gone just a little harder.  We were pulled one lap short of the minimum to be officially scored. 

In theory, I was 35^th.  According to USAC, I was DNF.  According to Strava…..

If you look at the race results, one could say this race was similar to still being ABD 10 years after beginning graduate study.  I prefer to think of the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, “I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind him.”  A year ago, I would have bet a Sprinter Van that I would not race an NCC crit.  Now I actually want to do Clarendon Cup…and am expecting to hear a knock from fear on my door again soon - this time I will make eye contact.

Bratwurst und Kartoffelsalat - das perfekt Regenerations-Essen!

Kudos and Shout-outs:

1.       Kelley – Having you at the line and admitting you were a wee bit nervous as well helped punch fear a bit.

2.       Amanda – thanks for your, “Come on, we are still in this…”  You are such a pleasure to race with/against.  Ditto for Sue!

3.       Joe Jefferson and Richard Frieze – you guys are the perfect racing announcing couple

4.       CA – thanks for believing in me when I don’t believe in myself.  One of these races I will actually execute the plan….

Putting it in Perspective: Sitting on a tarmac may be better than sitting on my Tarmac....

Perhaps 25 hours to fly from Rome to DC is not so bad after all.

Last week I missed the opportunity to race Poolesville.  One of the more pleasant thoughts that went through my brain when I upgraded from 3 to 2 was the fact that the Poolesville RR had no W1/2 field.  Yippee.  This race that I should love because of the gravel and a couple of short bumps was something I dreaded (gravel = dust, dust + asthma = no fun).  This year a W1/2 field was on the books as a combined field with the Cat3 Men.  Jordan emailed earlier in the week to see if Wendy and I were racing and what sort of strategy we could have together. 

Hoping Trevi Fountain myths hold so I will return to Rome.

Alas, I was busy dodging Vespas and Fiats while crossing cobblestone Roman streets and had to miss the chance to tear down gravel roads in Maryland with CA and Jordan.  No comment as to who selected the timing of this work trip….

Brandenburg Tor neben den US Botschaft

Site of racing of a different nature

As I was sitting in the airport at JFK, 17 hours into my rather extended journey back to DC from Europe, CA texted and asked if I “would please race Wilmington Grand Prix”.  Wearied eyed and really not understanding the magnitude of the rest, I thought nothing of it.  In a moment of weakness the subsequent day, fueled by happiness to be home and the effects of jet lag, I misguidedly agreed.

Just to frame the situation, Wilmington GP is a Pro/1/2 field.  Other races of mine have had the Pro part in the title….but the Pros were not in attendance.  This will be my first big-girl race.  When I checked the current start list, I found the following demographic data:  I am not the oldest one in the field…there are at least 2 women older than me…unfortunately their names are Laura Van Gilder and Tina Pic.  Had I had a daughter in my late teens and she went on to race, the woman predicted by roadresults.com to win the race would be my daughter’s age. 

With races almost every weekend, the flow of nerves follows a pattern.  Monday through Thursday, I love to race.  Friday includes packing which I hate to do, so the utility from racing declines a bit.  On race day, I hate racing.  I think of the joys one must have at simply being a couch potato.  Once the race begins, I am fine, with the desire to either vomit or bolt suppressed.  Post-race evening, I love racing until I have to unpack and do laundry.

It is now Tuesday. I should be in the “I love to race” phase of the week. Why do I have Saturday morning nerves?  I should have three more days of race happiness.  Yesterday I could not imagine ever flying again (25 hours from Rome left its toll).  Today being stuck on the tarmac in Rome with a malfunctioning plane and the potential to be a story on CNN sounds very appealing in comparison to sitting on my Tarmac.

Bottom line:  Saturday evening I will be able to say that I toed the line with women whose podium pics will probably grace the pages of VeloNews and my nerves which seem sort of epic right now will be long forgotten.  The academic in me wonders if I should go back to school for another  PhD…this time in psychology….I know I am not the only one with butterflies and such before a race.  What makes one continue to go to bikereg.com?  When CA said, “do this race”, why did I listen (those who know me well know that I seldom follow instructions from others)?  

I am looking forward to be able to race with Kelley and we will both miss Wendy - her vomiting is due to medical rather than psychological reasons....get well soon!!!!